Insensitive Boyfriend Tells His Girlfriend To Euthanize Her Cat Because He Got Sick, Girlfriend Refuses, Dumps Him, And Her Cat Is Doing Much Better

Author image for Mariel Ruvinsky
Mariel Ruvinsky • Writer and Editor
Jul 23, 2024 9:00 AM EDT

Listen, when it comes to new partners and cats… things can go in one of two directions. Either the new boyfriend or girlfriend love the cat, or… they do something like this. Seriously, we have read about some ridiculous things happening before in these situations. Everything from - boyfriends not being able to handle being 'second' to the cat because of their fragile egos, to boyfriends asking their girlfriends to choose between them and the cat, all the way to one boyfriend call his girlfriend unhygienic because of the cat that she sometimes kisses on the forehead. 

But today's story is, by far, the biggest red flag in a boyfriend that we have ever come across. Not once did we read about a boyfriend telling his girlfriend to put her cat down because the cat got sick and will need to go to the vet. Unbelievable. Thankfully, the girlfriend in this situation was clear minded and did the right thing. 

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  • 01
    Posted by u/whitelistmasochist 16 days ago boyfriend wants to put my cat down
    via u/whitelistmasochist

    When we talk about red flags… yeah, this one might be the biggest one. A pet is a part of the family, and if it's so, so easy for him to get rid of a pet - even if it's not his, even if it's his partner's - then we don't want to know what it would be like if one of his relatives got sick suddenly. 

  • 02
    earlier this week, i had to rush one of my kitties to the emergency room. he started to vomit and cry from pain when his belly was touched. gave him gabapentin but it wasn't helping. it was late so my mum and i took him while my boyfriend was at work.
    via u/whitelistmasochist

    We were worried for a second, reading this thread, that things would not turn out well - with the boyfriend and with the cat - so we waited, impatiently, for the update. Thankfully, the update came, and with it, our hope for humanity, because things turned out just right here. 

  • 03
    without hesitation, my mum and i signed approval for cpr and life saving procedures. the vet told us he had a urinary blockage from bladder crystals, so he got a urinary catheter and iv fluids. couple days later, i brought him back home.
    via u/whitelistmasochist
  • 04
    yesterday, i noticed he was still straining to urinate and had urinary incontinence since i was noticing urine in places it shouldn't be. since it was still occurring for another 24 hours, i took him back to the emergency vet since it was a holiday. i had asked my boyfriend to come along for assistance since it was a joint decision for us to get the cat.
    via u/whitelistmasochist
  • 05
    his first words to me were "it's best we euthanise him. it's for the best" to which i told him no. kitties with feline lower urinary tract disease (flutd) are still able to make a full recovery and live a long, normal life given some diet and environmental changes. "it's chronic, it's lifelong.
    via u/whitelistmasochist
  • 06
    he's going to have to keep going to the vet. it's not worth it". i already got the kitty signed up for akc pet insurance since they're the only ones who cover pre-existing conditions.
    via u/whitelistmasochist
  • 07
    i told him that i simply did not want to have the conversation. "i'm not changing my stance on this." i told him to have a heart. "i do have a heart and this is best for him." he's my baby boy, my child "he's not your child. stop treating him like that. children are the future generation, cats aren't sentient. you are his owner,
    via u/whitelistmasochist
  • 08
    not his parent." i have raised all of my kitties since they were little. i treat them as though they were my own children. "its a chronic illness. euthanasia is best" well by that logic, i have chronic illnesses too. does that mean i have to be put down? "that's a false equivalency".
    via u/whitelistmasochist
  • 09
    then i told him to leave because i told him i didn't want to have that conversation "well we're going to have to have it" no we aren't. we can wait for the vet. "they're going to say the same thing" then we cross that bridge when we get to it, otherwise stfu or leave. he shut up. and he was dead silent the entire drive and while we were there.
    via u/whitelistmasochist
  • 10
    while we were there, the vet said nothing about putting my cat down. he didn't reblock and we got some more meds for him. my boyfriend still refuses to change his stance on it. to note, this kitty is a little over a year old and otherwise healthy. i don't think it's right for my boyfriend to have a say in this, considering i've taken sole responsibility of all of the animals when he moved out.
    via u/whitelistmasochist
  • 11
    am i wrong for refusing euthanasia? or is my boyfriend the ?
    via u/whitelistmasochist
  • 12
    edit for context: he originally wanted to take the kittens (we joint adopted two) when he moved out. i told him no, as it would be too stressful and they were already bonded to my other kitty (i have 3 cats total) and doggo, as well as a new environment.
    via u/whitelistmasochist
  • 13
    the real reason is because he essentially abandoned his other cat because "she was too feral". i had gotten my first kitty all of his vaccines to make sure we could take her but not risk illness. she ended up pregnant and we took two of her babies.
    via u/whitelistmasochist
  • 14
    edit: i'm fully aware of the possible reoccurring blockages. i already have family support to take care of vet bills and his new diet. also working to make the house less stressful and i plan to talk with his primary vet about anti-anxiety meds like amitriptyline (i used to be on it myself) or prazosin. lil dude is barely a year old, i know he'll be just fine. the vet never once suggested euthanasia - that was all the boyfriend.
    via u/whitelistmasochist
  • 15
    Posted by u/whitelistmasochist 12 days ago UPDATE: boyfriend wants to put my cat down reddit.com/r/Pets... C lil update for everyone :')
    via u/whitelistmasochist
  • 16
    my little kitty is doing much better. he's back to his normal, happy self and still just as annoyingly cuddly as before ❤. he's currently on hill's c/d prescription diet mixed with plenty of water and he seems to be just fine with it. we go back to the vet later this week to see about some anti-anxiety meds and other things to help enrich and treat my kitty. he's back to hanging out with the other animals and relaxing.
    via u/whitelistmasochist
  • 17
    thank you to everyone for the suggestions for different methods, i've made note of all of them to try them out. i've read every single comment on my last post and while i may not agree with some of them, i do take them into account.
    via u/whitelistmasochist
  • 18
    to make the point, i am not against euthanasia. if my cat's quality of life starts to deteriorate or treatment is ineffective, then most certainly will that be a conversation to be had. i primarily had qualms with the now ex about how young my cat is and how he is otherwise healthy.
    via u/whitelistmasochist
  • 19
    as for the now ex-boyfriend, i tried again to talk to him but to no avail. i had tried a couple days ago to possibly find some common ground or even compromise, but nothing. he continued refusing to admit his wrongs towards both me and the animals both times. he told me he would try to help with them financially (but he should have been
    via u/whitelistmasochist
  • 20
    doing that for the last year, not now when he realises he's losing me). he resorted to stonewalling, telling me he couldn't do it anymore and how upset he was with me (outside of the gaslighting, calling me a liar, and saying how i was manipulative taking my kitty to the vet). he dumped me and i'm now blocked.
    via u/whitelistmasochist
  • 21
    when i go back to the vet, i'm going to work to get his name taken off the microchips. i'm not entirely sure if he will turn violent or not, but if he shows up at my door, he'll be met with my ar- 15. i'm keeping the animals far away from him. and hopefully he stays far away from me. there were plenty more issues with the ex, but those belong on a separate sub.
    via u/whitelistmasochist
  • 22
    it's all uphill from here. thank you everyone for the kind words and suggestions
    via u/whitelistmasochist

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insane boyfriend wholesome cat cute girlfriend happy ending Cats weird
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